Postmarked 06/29/09

SIDE STRADDLE HOPS AND MOUNTAIN CLIMBERS
MARINE CORPS MARINE CORPS DOUBLE TIME IT

So I was caught going to the bathroom during morning clean up today, something that is a definite no-no. I was taken to the quarterdeck and my IT session was kicked off with push ups and steam engines. Steam engines are a ridiculous workout that I don't even want to go into right now. Anyway, everything was going fine, my muscles were getting killed and becoming ever close to failing on me when SURPRISE....I was told to start doing mountain climbers. Now, I'm no girl when it comes to working out and pain, but I absolutely, completely hate doing Marine Corps mountain climbers, which require your toes to align or go past your fingernails. Give it a try if you ever get bored. It sucks, I promise you. Anyway, I figured if I was going to get slayed, I'd have some fun with it first. I looked away from my DI and caught the eye of my good friend, Recruit Borque. I winked and started my mountain climbers. I did 18 or 19 before I stopped and sat down. Drill instructor, Sergeant Vega, obviously surprised asked, "What the fuck, why'd you stop?" and in the straightest face I'd ever kept I replied, "Sir, this recruit has reached the top of the mountain sir." Slightly taken aback, but still maintaining his bearing, he leaned over and said, "Well, we'll have to get back down that mountain now won't we?" I wasn't done yet. Yelling out my obedient "Aye aye sir" I dropped to my back and started rolling around on the quarterdeck. He stopped me and asked in the most curious, non-DI tone I'd ever heard from him, "What the hell are you doing now?" I enthusiastically responded, "Sir, this recruit has found a more efficient way to get down the mountain sir." He turned his head to the right and put his hand over his face as if scratching it, but it was obvious he was hiding his smile. He told me to get the hell up and get back to cleaning, then walked off. I guess it pays to use some ingenuity every once in awhile.